Friday, February 25, 2011

So fat, so angry!

Ok, so I have been doing Beach Body's workout "Insanity". It's very difficult. It's a 63 day program and the second month is much harder than the first. Today I started the second month. As I was working my ass off, I got SO ANGRY! I realized, I was pregnant 3 years in a row and gained this weight. Not that I am fat by any means. I only weigh 127 pounds. I do, however, have some belly fat that I am trying to get rid of. Anyway, pregnant 3 years in a row and only have 2 freakin' babies here to hug on. How the fuck is that fair? I mean, if you thought it was fair to take my son.. why not take my freakin' belly too? Does this make any sense? I am just reallllllllly mad right now. It would be much easier for me to get through this if I had 3 babies to put to bed each night. Three babies to pick on AS. Three carseats to throw in my big SUV...

Hard day. The end.

Oh and p.s. I know you all won't understand. Most will be like "is she freakin' serious, she's 5'6" and only 127.. wtf is wrong with her.." But whatever.. I don't expect many to understand anything anyway.

Friday, February 4, 2011


Hey there! As I'm sure all of you have read by now, after J was born we had Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep come in and take pictures. Basically what that is, is a photographer who has a HUGE heart, and comes to do a photo session of your baby that has either already passed (stillborn) or will pass after birth. It's volunteer work, they are not paid to do this and you don't pay for the session. They give you a CD with all of the pics along with the rights to print them as you wish. I'm grateful for these people for many reasons. A couple of them are here: My husband and I were definately NOT in the right mind set to even think of taking pictures. Sure we snapped a few here and there, but nothing amazing. Another thing, even if we were thinking of pictures and such, our camera died after the few pics we were able to get ourselves. So, not only did our NILMDTS photographer capture some beautiful pics and edit them up for us, he captured a life time of memories, when there were only hours to squeeze them in. Grateful doesn't even describe it.

That being said, there is a contest. The can win some money to help them out if you just go vote! I'm not sure how long voting is going to last, but if you do it and have your friends do it, they are sure to win!

Also, thanks to my friends and family on facebook who put this link up for me. It always amazes me that the ones you think will help out a organization close to my heart, aren't the ones that do. It's the people that you don't think will, that do. So, again, thank you!